Dad

It's odd how some scenes from childhood stand out with almost movie like clarity while others drift away. The ones that stay are also not the ones that seemed not to be all that important at the time.

The first is the two of us catching rainbow trout while out camping. I loved doing that. The flash of the fish, the fight..I was always torn between wanting the pretty thing to get away and wanting to catch it to show I could. A few years later, I remember us throwing chicken legs on string into the ocean hoping for crabs. So different, crabs took patience, usually more than a kid had.

The next memory was all of us watching football together in my dad's 'private' study. We had a game that let us pick 2 teams as 'ours' and we would support them the whole season. It was a contest to see which team would be the best. The competition and yelling at the TV screen when 2 of our teams met was fierce. My 2 were the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Oakland Raiders. I knew everything about them--even years later I kept up with them, at least until they changed their home towns.

The last one that stands out is more a series-it's all the books he gave me to read. My Dad would hand me books that he found interesting. This led to some interesting choices for a little girl. The books I got were not the kind you would find in a children's library. They were strange, disturbing tales that sometimes shocked and bothered me. I was probably one of the few kids that read Kurt Vonnegut, Studs Terkel and a really odd book called 'Report from Group 17'. There were others, lots of them, but those stand out.

Lately I've been thinking about why these memories stand out above others and I think I finally know. These were the times my Dad was teaching me the important things in life. Not by dragging me to a class or explaining things heavy-handedly but by showing me how the world worked.

From the fish and crabs, I learned that different situations call for different reactions. You have heard the saying 'To a hammer, everything looks like a nail'. These 2 things, while being similar, required totally different approachs. One took speed and fast reactions-the other required patience and determination. Pretty useful concept for dealing with others..
The football game helped me learn about healthy competition even against those we cared about. I learned the importance of sticking with one thing for the long term instead of just bouncing about.
The books were the greatest gift of all. They opened my mind to ways of thinking that I never knew exsisted. The bothered me but they made me think. They made me want to know more, to find out more. Even today I'm constantly reading.
I think my Dad did it right (even if he didn't know he was doing it). The best way to teach our children is show them- not with long lectures and pontificating. Just let them see life through activities done together. Not once do I recall my Dad saying-"See, this is what it all means..this is how you act..." He didn't have to-he showed me and I learned and it stuck with me.

Thank you Dad :)